I want a divorce mumsnet. Likelihood is, I will still need a mortgage to downsize.


I want a divorce mumsnet And it’s always amazing. My husband has not reacted well. When I met my partner he was separated and he (and esp his ex ) didn’t want to divorce. I want to die 13 replies stressedlandlord · 18/06/2023 11:44 From personal experience and hearing many many experiences on Mumsnet, avoid knee-jerk insistence on keeping the family home if it's not financially viable. I feel like I’m a good wife. Around 100-140 an hour. 2nd thing - Assuming you have definitely decided this is it and you want to divorce. I wouldn’t be entitled to UC; I earn too much. Well I never thought I would have to make a follow up page. We have three secondary school aged children. I date sometimes, always hoping for a little fling but find that most people want more (or less). Will she want the DCs 50/50? Alimony / spousal allowance doesn't seem to be a thing anymore (at least not for any of my friends who were in your position, albeit married to men) as they were essentially told to get jobs, but they did get CM. I want to divorce my husband, but try and keep the family home by buying him out. Make an appointment with a solicitor, preferably one who specialises in There is no reason for him to accept the fact that you want a divorce because you have not taken any of the steps required to get a divorce. It’s a good idea to do that and get everything you can sorted out before you start the conversation. Please talk, you can always turn to a solicitor to negotiate financials later but no need for the legal divorce as that's the same whether you or a solicitor files, it's just they will charge you to do it. For those of you who have had the “I want a divorce” talk, can you help me build a script or talk track so I can prepare? I will grin and bear it thro Skip to main content Skip to main navigation Skip to search Skip to talk navigation Advertisement Search My head is spinning at the moment and my husband is putting pressure on me to decide if I want a divorce or not, he doesn't. In your situation, if you have a good relationship still, I would expect him to cover all the bills or at least split them proportionate to your incomes, which I expect would have him paying 90%+ himself. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful. I can tell other people, like my closest fri Skip to main content Skip to main navigation Skip to search Skip to talk navigation Advertisement Sign up Search I so desperately want a divorce from my husband. Join Mumsnet Log In She wants us to take a 50/50 split in the divorce application. In this situation I wouldn't leave until the younger child is older and much easier in terms of co parenting if you want to experience relationships. I want a quick divorce as I do not want this impacting the kids. I want to get a divorce but am having a hard time admitting it to myself and so getting on with it and my life. I don't want to live with him during the divorce, let alone afterwards! Ideally you want to be co parenting equally if you have ft jobs. Do I want to divorce my husband? 7 replies 800msprint · 18/05/2019 08:36 Unfortunately been thinking this more and more often. . my mental health isn't very good and I just want the whole thing to stop. But in a bad divorce (which if is he laying down the law already seems possible here), what has been set as a precedent can come back to bite you on the arse later on. there is just generally no thought or romance either. If I micromanage him, he will do things, but I don’t want to do that: I want a partner. He feels the same as they are already upset with why we are not ok and I don’t know how to tell them without talking about their father in a negative way, so I have just said we now don’t get a long which is normal. We have been together 18 years and in that time he has never helped in the house (he asked the other day how to clean the toilet!) I do everything. After moving in we created a wonderful relationship, to the point that I My ex wife and I are currently going through a divorce. He has 2 weeks to decide on accepting. Play today's Numberfit. Email, phone, text. I want to get a divorce - I’m so unhappy in my marriage and have been for years. I've told my husband of 30 years that I want a divorce. 5 yrs, DS is ten months), and want to divorce my husband but am feeling hopelessly trapped as I'm a 'Stay at Home Mum' with a ten month old baby and am completely financially dependant on my husband. You haven't actually said whether you want a See a solicitor first, as soon as humanly possible, then tell him you're filing for divorce however is easiest for you. So, two years down the line we are still married. Solicitors will charge you an additional fee, just no need. We have 2 DC, one in primary, one in secondary. I was 32 when I met DH and went through an absolute roster of terrible men. You don’t want to hear this, but the kindest thing to say is that you need to start planning for divorce and how this will change things. He is so controlling, with money, time and what I do. Quote I don't want to the be the voice of doom at all-hopefully all will work out well, and I'm not a Mumsnet-no parent shall ever have a new relationship ever-person. I have seen a solicitor who could only give minimal advice without financial disclosure so that was a complete waste of money. He’s not taking the hint! Would I be unreasonable to just tell him if you get as big as your dad I will want a divorce. Likelihood is, I will still need a mortgage to downsize. No kids together, we live in a rented house and only my name is on the tenancy. Don't understand mentality of having an affair. Have a nice day at work. Inform him as kindly as you can that you're filing for divorce and you want to work together to develop an excellent co-parenting relationship. But you have plenty of time to have the life you want. You need to have the conversation ideally when your dd isn't home so you can You don't need for him to agree to a divorce, you just petition it. I am 38. Married 7 years. He immediately starts badgering me for an answer to how much I want. If you want to leave, get the info you need to I want some advice, generally, about what I can do - either if I stay or downsize. If you do want to keep the house then I would look to go full time now and prove a solid income over a period of time to the mortgage company. He is due home from work this evening. Just be on your own for a bit, let the dust settle, enjoy your DC, decide what YOU want in life and don't be so quick to marry anyone else! I want a divorce. Divorce takes ages. By this I mean, don't focus on the future and what you believe the relationship will be like once the divorce is final. Right, but we can’t sell the home without getting a divorce. I have many personal goals regarding my career and personal life. If you can bear it, pretend you are back in your box, hide your new bolshiness while you find out the facts and make your plans. Get advice on your rights during divorce, file for divorce and if you feel you and the children are at risk do a flit to the nearest hostel for abused women with your children where they will advise you and help you get away for good. Then you start the divorce. Wow. Told my husband on Wednesday I want a divorce. It sounds like you want the passion and that's completely understandable and I think this is really common in most marriages. We have a 4 year old together and have been together 20 years. Join Mumsnet Log In Does anyone have any experience that if we want to divorce but carry on living in the same house for the sake of kids, can we do this and I still get 50/50 of monies, To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. Divorced 12 years and not in a new relationship, I never want to be but every single one of my friends who became single at some point during this time went quite quickly right back into living with another man. Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. I want to try and keep it as we have 2 very young children together. I want a divorce and my husband is making everything very difficult. What I’m saying is that if I tell DH I want to separate, our home isn’t magically going to sell overnight and the whole process could take years. Then there is a cooling off period of a minimum of 20 weeks. Handhold please About to tell my H I want a divorce, he's mean, controlling, gaslighting, cruel to the kids, tiring, exhausting and doesn't stop talki Skip to main content Skip to main navigation Skip to search Skip to talk navigation Advertisement Sign up Search This is exactly what his father would do. we do have a good life in a lot of ways, our house isnt big but its nice, we have pets and two beautiful children. You have not told your children or immediate family. There is nothing wrong with him, we are just like friends. You have not filed for @divorce. I won’t go into all the details - I would have to write a whole book Skip to main content Skip to main navigation Skip to search Skip to talk navigation Advertisement Sign up Search I now feel like a caged bird. As to how you can afford to live post divorce, you may need to ask for a bigger share of the marital assets in I want to divorce but he completely refuses to discuss our finances and the potential assets split, or anything other than trivial stuff. and I don’t want them to learn that inconsistency and not keeping your word is a good thing. @lunalove your story sounds very similar to mine. I feel very isolated, and depressed. The monies at the moment is safe with the conveyancing solicitor until the funds can be released to myself and my stbx. He is clearly not a present or equal partner to you. Does anyone know where I can get free mortgage advice? We have just bought our first home together (stupidly). I need specific answers as to how to actually 'do the deed' and tell my husband that I want a divorce. My husband told me last week that he was just not happy and although he loved me dearly as a friend our relationship was over. I want to move in with my new partner and his children who live a two hour drive away. My husband and I met when I was 23 and it was a messy, immature relationship. Have a 3 and 5 year old. Handhold - Told H I want a divorce, the fallout and rise again - hopefully 943 replies awesmum · 12/03/2019 19:00 Part 2. I'm gutted, it' Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. OP We live near all his family and miles from mine. You were only 22 when you got together. Only you know if your marriage is salvageable. I dong want him to move out so soon to christmas and tarnish the kids memory of it but when exactly do you pull the plug? Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. But you have to be reasonable and your statement above doesn't sound reasonable. I (38f) have been considering my marriage for a while now (at least 8 months) and I've decided that it's definitely what I want/need. Watch thread Flip Watch Save Share Husband wants a divorce. He thinks it's reasonable to go through the divorce and still cohabit so we can sell the house when the fixed term is up and I'll have I increased earnings as kids will be at secondary. People will tell you divorce doesn't affect kids. Thank He would say that I could always share my oppinion and "discuss" it, but it wasn't a discussion. That is investing the same time and spending for your children. Watch thread Flip Watch Save Share I want shared parental leave back 6 replies OKpeach · 03/01/2025 19 To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. I would prefer he leaves and I stay here with the dc so I don't have to uproot them, I can get a job locally dc are at school and my family is local but he won't because in his words' he wants to see me suffer'. They will want to know details of this and when a sale is agreed. He thinks 50/50 would be 'morally' right but I'm not so quick to agree. I would want to keep the house if possible as it is the kid’s home and would be less stressful for them to sell and move. He's always earns I suggest we try and do things without to much solicitor involvement to try and keep costs down. If you need help urgently or expert advice, Hi I have filed for divorce and want some advice on who else is going through and how yr dealing with it. I then used this money (along with a My husband told me he wants a divorce on Friday. He may well ask for 50:50 but PLEASE don't just take the Mumsnet view that is because he doesn't want to pay maintenance. But it makes me wonder, why am I with him? We usually have sex regularly, every other day. Then you don't have to spend too much money on lawyers and it's "just" the admin cost of getting the divorce. It would feel very unfair and inequitable to have to split it all by half when the only reason I have had it is due to the loss of my Mum, whom he didn’t care about. I would certainly try counselling before divorce with 2 young DCs. I am in my prime now and he is slowing down. I want to divorce because he cheated. We had a property together which she bought me out of in December 2021. I'm sorry as it sounds like you want to make it work but you have a dd, do you want her to think this is a normal loving relationship? Agree with him, say you'll get Christmas out the way & start divorce proceedings. I am devastated. Summary if you want background: A short summary is my husband is verbally and emotionally abusive to me and to my children. The issue is, that while I'm waiting for him to 'sort it out with his contacts', I am living in total and utter limbo with nothing moving on. If you can work out a fair split of assets on your own (or using a mediator if you can't agree between yourselves), you can then file your financial agreement jointly using a single solicitor which will cost about £1000. Also, I’m assuming she earns less because she does most of the childcare, whilst also supporting you to work without paying for childcare. ? So I’m 99% sure I’m going to tell my husband I want a divorce. He has been verging on emotionally abusive. Quote Everything seems very illogical from his perspective so it is great he is seeking therapy. If you and your "d"h want to get divorced then in an ideal world you agree about child custody and the financial split. I don’t want to live like this. Would you want to be bought out or would you want to try to keep the marital home for you? Quote To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. There are a lot of variables here though as a divorce doesn't necessarily mean a 50:50 split @Startinganew32 I initiated divorce proceedings against my ex then went for an ancillary relief order as he wasn't responding. No words, other than I think I'd actually want to go through with a divorce from someone who would approach the end of our marriage with such carelessness. £300k equity in it It may well accelerate with the divorce as he feels more threatened. Divorce has a HUGE financial impact which can last for decades. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. After therapy for many years I now feel able to separate and move on. I know I can "just" do it legally but the practicalities of living with someone who is not going to be co-operative while the process is ongoing are enormous. It even feels 'bad' writing that down. Things are now getting very real, the judge has asked for houses to be valued. A judge will then decide to grant a stay so that no parties can apply for the final order until the finances have been finalised. He is older than me by 20 years and this is now starting to show. I can take 2 to 4 weeks for the government to accept it. Don't date his potential. Strongly considering telling DH I want a divorce. He thinks it’s tit for tat on who does what with the kids (we have 3 children) if he gives them breakfast it’s like his super nanny! I’m so scared, I want to tell him, I just can’t imagine it going down well. I would just be told that I was wrong and the emotional card of "this is how I feel" was played. He knew i wouldn’t stay if he didn’t divorce his ex so he did and yes it made their relationship much less amicable ! Basically I am just so fed up of being taken from granted and treated like a piece of shit. How do I tell him? I don’t want arguments, I don’t want drama, I just want him gone. You have made a mistake. Friends were round and they mentioned us having in the same room as them but I don't want to and he won't stop going on about it. Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. Just be aware that solicitors aren't neutral, they want to make money and couples disagreeing means more money. And I feel like a divorce would set me free again. Share I want a divorce but too stuck in fear 6 replies ifeeltheneedtheneedforspeed · 26/03/2019 19:17 Just that, I'm too scared to act on it, can't face the fall out, the upheaval, no where else to go and a 4year old to consider. It Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you actually want to divorce him - don't do it on the say so of a 9 year old. Play. You are going back to stay in the same house with him and you are hosting a family event with him. DH doesn’t care I want a divorce 9 replies Chumbibi · 04/08/2022 21:19 DH and I have had a Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here) I’m done, and want it to end. If you want to stop husband from applying for the final order you can apply for a stay order, if you want a stay on the divorce proceedings until your finances are sorted you could submit a D11. You want to reasonably co parent, but in practice it's likely he will try every trick in the book to "punish" you through your child. Do I want to end it or is it the menopause making me feel this way ? Anyone separated at this stage and regretted it ? You Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If neither of you wants to get divorced, Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. I feel that I am paralysed into inacti Skip to main content Skip to main navigation Skip to search Skip to talk navigation Advertisement Search A divorce would be for the best, this isn't a good marriage as he's being a controlling, gas lighting twat. You can just take your child and go - back to family - or rent somewhere, and sort the formalities I do think I will find it great to get out of this. Our lives have become very separate since kids. Hi, I'm becoming increasingly desperate within my marriage (6. I asked my stbexh for a divorce this week. He and I agreed to separate for two years (one of the grounds for divorce) as neither of the other grounds which take less time ("unreasonable behaviour" or adultery) appealed to us. I am watching all my friends do everything they want to do but I cant do it. He will see it that you are not serious about splitting. Headlines are: We are early 30s; no kids ; married 4 years, together nearly 12; jointly own a house with circa. looking back i dont think it has ever been a very healthy relationship, but we were young when we got together. Her loss of earnings because she looked after your children allowed you to earn more, therefore she lost income, the financial split needs to reflect that. It is possible to find someone who loves and fancies you and . If you don't agree you have to go to mediation before you go to court. Feel ashamed having to come on here but I have no friends, so I work 2 night shifts a week and when I'm at work my husband goes on xbox and talks to women on there and he lied to me and said they were his mates girlfriend's, I found out they weren't so I obviously wasn't happy about it and he said I'm sick of living like this I want a divorce to the point silly me is im looking for advice here if anyone has any. I'm sure he'll take me to court and I'm worried he'll try and turn the kids against me. Seems to me you want your cake and eat it. A decent man would deal with his divorce first before looking to enter a new relationship, especially if it was so acrimonious. If you need help urgently or expert advice, Share Coming off sertraline - feel like I want to get a divorce 12 replies Lifeonabudget · 29/09/2023 19:16 I’ve been on I’m teetering on the edge of telling DH I want a divorce. To address this, the authors present three common divorce Running into relationship difficulties can be an incredibly confusing time, not least because of the rollercoaster of emotions you'll be experiencing. I've asked him for a divorce but I don't really know what the right way to go about it is. I really want to try and not call womens aid or police, I just want to make my exit but I know he won't make it easy. I got divorced when I had primary school age kids and it affects them badly. But I want a life, and I want to live away from his crazy orbit. I think its the guilt towards him that's making me depressed. Neither of us is happy yet he's deluded and he's making out we've got a good relationship and that I'm ruining everything, of course his lies over the years couldn't possibly be the problem. Are you sure this is what you want? Have you tried counselling? I had an unwanted divorce 20 years ago and am still feeling the impact, having to If you want equal split, split the childcare the same way. But you can't also just decide you want to stay in the house unless you can can buy his share with your divorce Yesterday when dropping off my children (2, aged 3 and 8) to their dads he gave me court papers. I am 28, been with my husband since I’ve been 18, marrie Sunday my husband left our home and said he wants a divorce. No sex since last May. I have known for quite a few months now that I want to divorce my husband, but I can't get the words out. I was married to a narcissist and he’s being difficult! I want to retrain and go into tech but I'm so exhausted by the time they go to sleep, I can't take in the information. Join Mumsnet Log In Active Watching Add post I'm on Search Get involved. He doesn't want two seperate houses, to get another mortgage, probably face the shame of it all in our village. im 35 and have been with my wife for about 15 years, married for 8. I just reminded him there’s some really delicious risotto in the freezer as he said he was going to get a takeaway, he says he hasn’t eaten all day. I don’t want to get any further down the line and something happens that means I can’t leave. Life is passing you by. and I want to. I'm not money grabbing I just want what I'm entitled to. I'm wondering if anyone can share their experiences of pushing through a divorce when their husband does not want to divorce. We own our flat and still have quite a bit of the mortgage to pay off, I would get enough for a down payment on a modest house if we sold however I wouldn't be able to get a mortgage since I stopped working over 5 years ago. My H chose to divorce me; I would have worked harder on the marriage but he chose not to. You were unhappy and he didn’t want to be married to you so the divorce was the right decision. I already said to him "do you really wanna be with someone who doesnt love you" and he said he doesnt care about that cause he thinks im lying. You apply for a divorce. It may not end in divorce but if it does, I want her to be prepared. Play today's Crossword. Not because I hate him and not because I want to have children with anyone else, I really do not want to have another child with someone else, it could only ever be him. That way you can tell him that you want to divorce and it’s all ready to go. Don't tell him you want a divorce until you've got all your ducks in a row. We both agreed between ourselves that we were happy to let the cash be released to us both prior to court process so that we can repurchase again, both sets of solicitors have said Before baby, we were quite adventurous, but body confidence issues have meant that I don't want to take my clothes off in front of him and he doesn't do anything to help support me with the issues I have. I have felt a lack of care from H for long time. You file for the legal divorce online, you do not need a solicitor, there's a set court filing fee that's all. On top of that he can be lazy and disrespectful. But the evidence is right before my eyes. We have been unhappy for a long time. Then wait an additional 6 weeks and a day before completion. He either goes to counselling or you will be separating and you are going to apply for a divorce. I want it over. Also - on the divorce form if you haven't had sex for 6 months or more that can actually be a reason for divorce. It argues that many couples enter divorce proceedings unprepared, driven by emotional reactivity rather than clear, considered decision-making. I understand your motivation to keep things calm - but honestly DONT. That he'd text you this makes me wonder how much value he's put on the years you've been together and the family you've made. He won't agree to a mediator, moving on with the divorce, telling our children, telling friends. It sounds horrible but its true. I want my children to grow up in a healthy atmosphere. Its been coming for a few months so he wasn't massively surprised. Meanwhile, what do we do? Stay living together with that going on - that’s horrible. You also dont need to sort the divorce immediately. I want to be me, I want to be in charge of my life and my money. when your kids get to a certain age, you think “they are gaining independence, is this what I want as they leave and for the next 30+ years?”. My NHS pension lump sum, that I can get at 60, is around £70-£80k. Watch thread Flip Watch Save To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. I don't see a way out of this pit of heartache and devastation. I’m 52. He is applying to have the children 50/50 of the time. Should be 50/50 split, and then child maintenance if they live with you. I just feel horrible. DH will be issued the divorce papers by email or post. I’ve been wondering about divorce. Mediation costs money. I don't want to short change my children or myself. I think it really depends on how amicable your relationship still is. I don’t want to end up losing all of my disposable income as it would make me miserable and worry all the time. Its doubtful he would want your child over night much by the sound of it. To me: are you stupid or lazy? Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. Just get it over with. We'd been married 4 years and have a 19 month old together. After 10y and 2 DCs, and a house together, we got he was married for 3 years, divorced and he started dating different people until he asked me to be his girlfriend. Don't get me wrong, this is a valid response in some situations, but it was weaponised to prevent me doing things I wanted "I don't want you to do that Get the divorce (I won't reiterated what everyone else has said, but I agree with them - this guy was NEVER going to make you happy), and then end the relationship with affair guy too if it doesn't seem right. jldq rdji zinob cpstd maep okarua bxim mlnhj velay fhdeim